Shamed by my Students!

Yes, that's right, I've been shamed by my creative writing students. It isn't as if they've done anything embarrasssing like putting a car on the roof of the Adult Education building or telling the powers-that-be that my whiteboard handwriting's a mess. No, they've been paragons of virtue - having things published, winning competitions, and even writing 100 words a day for an internet challenge.

That's what really got to me. Here are my students undertaking to write 100 words a day on the internet and how many words have I written for my blogs over the past few months? Have I been setting them a good example? Should I have 'Could Try Harder' on my termly report card?

It isn't as if I dislike writing my blog entries. In fact, I find them very relaxing and I get a real sense of achievement when I see them on the internet, especially if someone actually reads them and sends me a nice comment. I had got into rather a good routine of doing them late in the evening when I was chilled out after a day's work, and I found this rather a good way of winding down and putting the day to bed.

The trouble was, of course, that the day's work had started to end later and later. Was I going to sit down and write a blog when I finished my lesson preparation or my PGCE assignment at midnight?

Then there were all the other things that I ought to be doing every day as well, things which regularly jostled with the blog-writing in my mental time-table. Like getting some exercise. (Sadly, the MacAlpine Stadium, once my second home, is now but a distant memory as I haven't been to swimming or aquafit for months.) Or practising my clarinet and saxophone, especially now that I'm in a clarinet trio/quartet that actually plays in public from time to time. Or giving Reiki treatments to myself and my family, now that I've had my first attunement.

There are so many things I could feel guilty about not doing. But that would be a waste of the precious time that I do have. So I forgive myself for being human, being tired, not always being the most organised person in the world. I hope you will forgive me too.

And if you're still beating yourself up about something you haven't got round to doing, maybe you could try forgiving yourself too. Maybe if you do, instead of squandering your life on regrets, you'll release some vital energy to do something positive.

Namaste!